Discourses I hated: Karan Aujla is not your man

Alright alright alright.

The interwebs had me feeling some type of way this week and Discourses I Hated is how I express my outrage, but this week, only one discourse was the subject of my ire.

I don’t want to waste any time.

Punjabi superstar Karan Aujla was trending this weekend after images from a pre-wedding photoshoot went viral. Aujla shared an image from the wedding itself to his Instagram just a few days later.

The reactions varied, but what struck me was how many people were acting like they have some kind of ownership over the romantic choices made by a man they do not know.

Let me reiterate: you do not know these people.

In the last Discourses, I wrote about parasocial relationships being amplified by the manufactured intimacy on social media, and this closeness that many fans feel to Aujla is likely a byproduct of that.

At the same time, it is pretty common for many famous celebrities, particularly in the Punjabi music industry, to not be open about their relationships in order to portray a “bachelor” persona.

There are many Punjabi artists past and present who do not disclose their relationship status, or even intentionally hide the fact that they are in a relationship.

Aujla certainly has a “bad boy” image in his music and music videos, but he has respectably never tried to hide the fact that he has been in a seemingly long-term relationship with a woman he was going to marry. (This should be the bare minimum, but I digress).

After these images surfaced online the reactions ranged from some girls saying they are crying or in mourning because Aujla is officially off the market, to others making comments on his choice of partner.

This infuriated me.

While he may have chosen to be in the public eye and this naturally brings with it criticism and scrutiny from complete strangers, his partner did not make this choice and by this logic, should be off limits.

I too remember being 16 and in love with members of One Direction or Justin Bieber and feeling envy towards their partners, but many of those making comments about this man and his relationship are grown ass adults and should know better.

Criticizing someone's appearance or offering your opinion based on who you think this man you don't know should marry can only be categorized as delusion. (It was delusion when I was 16 and thought I was going to marry a pop star or boy band member, too).

His wife is beautiful, but that’s a no brainer and also isn't even the point here. What’s at issue is the fact that there are people who think it’s their right to debate things about a celebrity's choice of partner or their appearance.

I recognize that brown people can be inherently judgemental of others' choices, and many of us were raised in environments where the opinions of others beared a lot weight on how we navigated the world.

This also made many feel entitled to offer up their two cents on everything everyone else does, because we know everyone else is doing it too.

I also understand that the internet allows us the ability to offer up our opinion on nearly everything and anything, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we need to.

And I assure you that Aujla isn’t going to leave his wife because user33323525 said so.

It really grosses me out to see so many people in my generation, many who seemingly should have learned from our parents' generation, turning into the nosy, meddling aunties and uncles we would make fun of.

It really doesn't need to be this way.

It shouldn't be this difficult to simply observe the success, joy, or happiness of others in our community without scrutinizing every aspect of their lives and offering up judgement or criticism on things that truly are not our concern.

If you are a grown ass adult who has anything other than “congratulations” to say about someone else’s happy news—respectfully, it is okay to just keep your mouth shut.

No one asked for your opinion, so keep it.

Congrats and god bless to the happy couple, who are likely ignoring your dusty musty comments and enjoying married life, as they should.