Discourses I hated: Rihanna & A$AP, cheaters & learning to mind your damn business

I’m sorry, but it is time for me to talk my shit once again.

Discourses I hated is where I round up discourses I quite literally hated or loved to hate this week, because dragging people truly is one of my fondest pastimes.

As we are all aware by now, I am chronically and painfully online, which makes me the go-to expert when it comes to talking shit.

I am the person you go to to discuss the latest news headlines, but also the latest trending Twitter topic or TikTok trend that has no bearing on our lives. It’s just what I do.

Let’s waste no time, shall we?

We should all touch grass sometimes

A parasocial relationship is defined as “are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence.”

This is what some of y’all are doing.

In the age where everything is online, it’s a common occurrence that we feel that we really know people we haven’t met and don’t know much about.

However, with celebrities in particular, we often see this happen to extremes—and sometimes to the extent that I want to ask if some of you are okay.

Like this guy.

For starters, sir, you do not know these people.

Rihanna standing in front of her partner in a picture doesn’t have some secret hidden meaning. Calling it emasculating that she is standing in front of her man who is holding *checks notes* his own child is weirdo behaviour at its finest.

I mean it isn’t as if men already don’t have enough examples of hypermasculine imagery or portrayals in the media, so it’s almost refreshing that we can bear witness to different expressions of masculinity.

I know sometimes it may be helpful to craft narratives about people you don’t know to make yourself feel better—particularly about strong, beautiful women you likely wouldn’t have had a chance with anyways.

But to try to insinuate that Rihanna, a soon to be mother of two and cultural icon, should stand behind her man because of relationship roles and your fragile masculinity, is some bullshit.

This is just another example of someone absolutely reaching. Needing to explain why every relationship, appearance, career, life online secretly sucks on the inside just so you can feel better is not normal.

Go touch grass.

Representation politics don’t cut it

How did we lose the plot so badly that we are still thirsting for crumbs of representation, no matter the form?

I’m seeing so many people celebrating Nikki (Nimrata) Haley’s presidential bid as a win for “South Asian women,” and it is once again an example of why getting a seat at the table simply isn’t an automatic cause for celebration.

We can’t just be happy to see a brown person in a position of power, because that alone just isn’t enough.

Haley has repeatedly demonstrated that she does not show true solidarity with the community she only claims when it is convenient for her.

If we continue to think that mere representation is enough, we will continue to prop up individuals who are using their identities as bargaining chips to advance causes, policies and positions that directly cause harm to the people they claim to represent.

Someone like Nikki got to where she is because of her ability to be palatable to white people, so that they can use her “diversity” as a way to absolve them of any criticism.

“The brown lady said it so it’s not racist.”

In order to receive better we have to expect more from each other and I promise you, one Google search will show you that this woman is not the trailblazer we’ve been searching for.

Let’s exercise some critical thought, shall we?

Mind your f***ing business

When Chadwick Boseman was dying from cancer, he made many media appearances and was dragged on Twitter immediately afterwards for his changing appearance.

Many questioned why he looked the way that he did, not out of concern—but often in the form of a critique.

It wasn’t until his death that people realized the truth and that their unwarranted criticism was being levelled at someone who quite literally could not control the changes that were impacting their body.

It was a humbling lesson that most people took in for approximately 2.5 seconds before continuing to shit on the next person.

This past week, Selena Gomez was the latest celebrity having to address comments about her appearance online.

Gomez went live on TikTok to address people making comments about her weight gain, and explaining that her weight fluctuation was a side effect of medication she takes for Lupus.

“I’m not a model,” she said.

But the fact that people felt the need to comment on this in the first place shows how few people truly understand the cardinal rule of minding your f****ing business.

You are in no way required to offer up your two cents on everything, especially not how other people look or what is happening to their bodies.

Someone shouldn’t have to offer up a tragic backstory for you to exercise basic common sense.

Why is it that the baddest bitches always get done the dirtiest?

I don’t know if you watch Love is Blind, but this latest season was yet another example of how the baddest bitches get dogged the worst.

In the “After the Altar” episode, the audience became privy to the fact that Raven and SK, who did not get married on the show, ended up getting engaged after the fact.

What we found out through TikTok before this episode aired, however, was that SK was cheating on Raven throughout their entire relationship, despite attempting to create a “nice guy” persona both on the show and online.

Raven gave her first tell-all interview about the situation on the Viall Files podcast and let me tell you that shit had me SICK.

This man not only lied to her face, repeatedly, but only ever gave her slivers of the truth while she was simply begging him for honesty.

Then, after driving her crazy and making her second guess her reality, he then admitted he wasn’t all that attracted to her in the first place.

At one point Raven shares that she visited SK (they were in a long distance relationship) and found a towel bunched up under the sink with makeup on it.

This man told her it was from him doing a turmeric face mask.

THE AUDACITY.

Raven also shared that in the midst of his actions becoming public knowledge, SK was so consumed with trying to protect his own reputation, that he cared very little for how his actions impacted her.

I know a narcissist when I see one! Narcissistic men will not think twice about hurting someone they care about, but certainly don’t want other people finding out how terrible they are.

This gave me every type of war flashback to all the lies I’ve ever been told by aint-shit-ass men, and made me want to rise up in solidarity because our sister did not deserve this.

The beautiful part though is that Raven said that this situation didn’t turn her off from love entirely, and that she hopes to remain open and vulnerable for someone to come around and treat her right.

Meanwhile SK and all the trash individuals who lie, cheat and manipulate always find their karma, and almost always fumble a bad bitch.

GOODBYE!

Okay those are all the discourses this week because I simply don't have anything else left in me.

Feel free to send me discourses you want to hear me rant about, and until next time—don't piss me off.