Life lessons from a 26 year-old who knows nothing

I know, I know, I don’t think there’s anyone out there holding their breath for life advice from someone who's barely gotten their toes wet.

But as a brown girl who has gone against the grain for much of her life, I have always felt uniquely positioned to ask questions, share my musings and lessons, and to invite others to do the same.

If it weren’t for my words, I don’t know if I’d still be here.

My whole life, I’ve been expected to bite my tongue, stifle my words, and go with the status quo to keep the peace.

However, that simply isn’t in my nature.

I have always been resilient by force and not shutting up has been my personal rebellion that ensured that even when I was being ignored, I sure as fuck would be heard.

So, here I am.

Like many brown girls, I’ve long been overwhelmed by the stories carried by my spine, and the one thing that allowed me to feel seen and heard was knowing that if there’s one thing that cannot be taken from me, it’s my voice.

Since my early days of having a blog and podcast, running a South Asian youth magazine and writing my own personal essays, covering news stories that matter and much more—I've always known there are so many stories I’ve been burning to tell.

I was recently having an existential moment (not a crisis although I’ve enough of those to last a lifetime), where I was considering what it is I wanted from my life and career.

I was thinking long and hard about what my happiest days look like, and the one thing that has always caused me to retreat from sharing my personal work publicly is the near-expectation to make every aspect of our lives and our work consumable.

It took me 26 years to learn to be content with the little things, to not chase accomplishments or external validation, and to just be okay being me. For a while, I was extremely happy to pull away from sharing myself, my life or my words with the world.

I was tired of feeling the pressure to do and be one thing so it was easier to say nothing than to say all that I wanted to.

And while I realized it was so delicious to live in my bubble—it dawned on me that there is still so much more shit I have to say.

Throughout my life and career I’ve seen many people have adverse reactions to me just being myself.

But I learned over time that I cannot curate myself, my thoughts and my opinions to be digestible. It’s not in my nature to inauthentically contort myself for easy consumption.

And it’s not in my nature to stifle my voice for anyone else’s comfort.

In a time where things are more bleak than ever, my delusion means that my once crippling anxiety and insecurity over the years morphed into releasing my shame long enough to think that maybe I can finally put all of me into the world

And maybe, there’s people who actually want to listen.

So, out of this comes this blog.

No, it won’t be my personal diary because we have therapists for that.

I'm not here to give you life advice, because we have pseudo self help gurus with no training for that.

But I am here to live my life, talk my shit, tell stories and chip away at the many things that piss me off.

Sometimes, I look around at the world and I don't like what I see.

I’m not naive enough to believe I can change it overnight

But whatever weird middle space I occupy, being truly exhausted by the world but simultaneously imagining a better one; by thinking that it's okay to get lost in dumb stuff that literally doesn't matter because nothing literally matters—this is where i'll share my musings, my experiences, my stories, and everything in between, simply as me.

So, once again, hello.

My name is Rumneek and I’m a writer, cultural commentator, and certified shit disturber.

Here are 26 things I learned by 26, that pushed me into wanting to start this blog.

1. You don’t need to have all the answers before you decide to speak up.

2. You don’t only have to teach from your tragedy, you can also teach from your triumph.

3. You can’t change the world. But you can make material differences to people’s worlds.

4. Not everyone will like you. It is a waste of your time to worry about that, though.

5. You don’t need to read hate comments.

6. Ask for help.

7. You don't need to have an opinion on everything.

8. Don't waste your time asking why you got a seat at the table. Ask yourself what you’re going to do with it.

9. Don’t curate yourself to be consumable.

10. Be okay with saying no and walking away.

11. Allow yourself to get lost in your joy.

12. Stop fixating on how you look.

13. People will judge you based on your social media — but social media isn’t a real place.

14. You’ll get farther being yourself than you ever will trying to be someone you’re not.

15. When you’re happy, you don’t need to spend time convincing people of it.

16. Rest when you need to.

17. Don’t let people push you into a box.

18. Don’t apologize for standing for something.

19. Don’t make yourself small for anyone’s comfort.

20. You won’t always be right.

21. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.

22. Take a chance.

23. Trust that everything always works out for you.

24. Help people even when you have nothing to gain.

25. Impostor syndrome isn’t real.

26. You don’t know anything.